As a conservative, I can’t say that I was especially pleased with the outcome of this last “election,” but I most certainly welcome the soul-searching that has followed such a widespread public repudiation of the Republican agenda, at least until Barack Hussein’s birth certificate is officially declared a forgery and the US Supreme Court dropkicks his ass back to Kenya. Present discussions are keenly focused on substantive matters that deeply affect the whole of American society, and they will only help rejuvenate the Republican Party… which explains why Michelle Malkin is bitching about Michelle Obama’s jewelry:

I have just a few comments about the Michelle Obama Thank You Ring thing (assuming it’s true), and then I’ll get out of the way and let you have at it.

1) Remember when MichelleO cracked her joke about how women would use the $600 stimulus check to buy earrings?

Man, I thought that was a sign of elitism run amok. But now we’re talking about a $30,000 piece of rhodium just for doing what a supportive spouse should do? …

3) Speaking of bad timing, is it really a good idea to be crowing about this extravagant present when — as Barack Obama so ably reminded us in campaign infomerical before Election Day — Americans are hurting in the midst of tough economic times that will only get tougher?

4) What is it with some women who feel entitled to receive lavish presents from their husbands for work that should be its own reward? Reminds me of this ridiculous “Push Present” phenomenon involving women who expect big-ticket gifts from their husbands for bearing their children.

Etc., etc., onto point 6. What gives this story special resonance is that it isn’t even true; still, Mrs. Malkin’s commenters have managed to indict President-Elect Obama and that ghastly shrew he’s married to regardless of what the facts are, which shows what a winning issue this could be for the Republicans. What a pity it didn’t come out during the general election.

Obviously the matter of presidential baubles is serious business, but like most controversies of this sort, it is best solved at the state level. That’s why I propose that the Mormons amend each state’s constitution to prevent Democrats, negroes, and other people of questionable loyalties to Our Nation from buying jewelry, as it is an effront to the very Values this country was founded on. The result is sure to be an electoral goldmine for the GOP in 2010. Praise Him!

If things had worked out the way Obama might have originally wanted, maybe John Edwards would have been Attorney General and maybe Wesley Clark would be taking over the Pentagon.

That would have shut the malcontents up, maybe.

Unfortunately both are currently mending self-inflicted wounds.  Clarke’s aren’t as deep as John’s, but he pissed off enough of even the more moderate republicans to make his life difficult — and distractions are something the Defense Secretary doesn’t need right now as we draw-down from Iraq (yay!) and try to fix Afghanistan (and Pakistan while we’re at it). 

Besides, Clarke hasn’t really tried to mend any fences, cuz he was right.  McCain’s experience as a POW was not a prep-class for holding executive power.  Edwards has put his toe in the water of redemption, but placing him on the national stage, at least now, simply invites scorn and ridicule.  That’s something No-Drama-Obama just ain’t gonna do.

Since a wise man convinced me that it’s best to judge what they do instead of what they say, I’m in good company waiting until Obama actually, you know, does something.

Maybe if the progessives out there banging their heads against the wall, convinced we’re getting screwed, pray hard enough the Flying Spaghetti Monster might get them that pony — and the winning lottery numbers, and . . .